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Last night I couldn’t sleep because of problems I am having with a leadership team I am on with a business client. When I reflect back on the conversations, I see that problems present themselves in all organizational team communications and it’s worth talking about, so I am lifting this up for discussion.

As PR Chair for a nonprofit national women’s organization, I see team communications as vital to the organization. Communication is anything we do whether written, spoken, unspoken, or implied. When you have conversations with your team, what do they look and feel like? How do you make others feel? Is how others feel and perceive your message even a consideration? 

Team Communications With Social and App Messaging

Because we use social media, text, and messaging apps to communicate, there is a lot left up to interpretation. Many communications have completely unintended consequences. In our digital world, once you say something, you can’t take it back. It’s out there for the universe to see and scrutinize. 

You’re Not Above Scrutiny

Recently, a very well-known, wealthy, and influential musician used what was interpreted as hate speech about a people of faith. The fallout of this communication was swift and harsh. One by one, his business partners broke ties and he lost lucrative business contracts worth billions of dollars. No one wants to hear from him ever again. He has no way to repair those broken relationships. It’s a done deal. One sentence took down an empire. He didn’t consider the consequences. He was mistaken about the impact of his words. 

A very popular radio show host was recently ordered to pay by a court judgment almost a billion dollars for making extremely hurtful false claims about a tragic event. It’s more fallout from toxic communications. The judgment was that he knowingly promoted false claims publicly in the media about a widely covered tragic event where lives were lost. The story was everywhere on TV and in digital media. You could see with your own ears and eyes what happened. A person of influence has a responsibility to the audience. This person knowingly spread false claims about what happened to the point where his word was seriously questioned. People can see through conspiracy theories and with that comes consequences. With enough evidence, something is either true or not true. If you swear the sky is purple and it is clearly blue, you’ll be asked to explain yourself.  Libel and slander are prosecutable legal offenses. 

These are extreme examples of what happens when communications are misused, misinterpreted, or don’t consider who may be listening. Note to self: Everyone is listening because they can. Social media sees to that. We all have a responsibility for maintaining decorum and decency when it comes to our communications. 

Fear Based Communication

I have been listening to a Brene Brown audiobook called Dare to Lead. Brave Work. Tough Communications. Whole Hearts. Her words struck chord after chord with me about how teams communicate thoughts, fears, feelings, and beliefs. In order for a team to work and function in a healthy way, we can follow Brene’s advice about fear-based communications. Understanding your own fears and the fears of others is key to safe spaces in communication where people feel free to say necessary things that propel agendas. 

Brene says, “When we are in tough situations with people, we can’t take responsibility for their emotions. They’re allowed to feel what they feel. But if their behaviors are not ok, we set the boundaries. For example, I know this is a tough conversation. Being angry is ok; yelling – that’s not ok. Or, I know we’re tired and stressed, this has been a long meeting. Being frustrated is ok, interrupting people and rolling your eyes – not ok. Or, I appreciate the passion around these different opinions and ideas; the emotion is ok – the passive-aggressive comments and put-downs, are not ok.” https://brenebrown.com/hubs/dare-to-lead/

You may hold onto or share your opinions after the meeting with others you feel would agree with you. This is also damaging and creates mistrust among team communications. Trying to impart empathy and grace in communication goes a long way. Back-biting, rumor, and gossip when you disagree with someone are unproductive and dangerous. 

The key to productive team communications is the ability to LISTEN. Really listen. Give others the space to express what they need to express without retaliation. Don’t rush important conversations. Don’t forget to revisit hard conversations. Don’t respond to others with fear-based commentary. Really understand your own place in the conversation and how what you say affects others. 

Responsible Team Communications

The conversation around team communications is an important one. Those of you tasked with leadership have a responsibility to facilitate responsible communication. Read and reread your written responses to things you are passionate about. Your audience can turn you off at the flip of a switch and silence you legally as in the prior examples.

Use social media, text messaging, and email communications responsibly. Your future and the future of your team, company, organization, goals, and more are at stake. Make communication intentional and full of grace and see your goals bloom and grow.  

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